Wednesday, December 21, 2005

US judiciary in seeing sense shocker

Christ on a bike indeed

Will someone please let me know what the world is coming to? Next thing you know we'll be having gay marriages!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Copying Ecce

It's way too hard to try and think of an ultimate top 10 songs, even if as Ecce shows you can allow yourself several goes - whose rules are these anyway?

But I can tell you what I have been listening to at work recently, in no particular order:

Kate Bush - Experiment IV
Annie - Greatest Hit
Faith No More - Everything's Ruined
The Delgados - I Fought the Angels
Nick Cave - Nature Boy
Teena Marie - Lead Me On
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Darkness falls


Dudes, the Darkness are playing some stadia(!) next February - tell all your friends! Unfortunately the only Saturday dates are in Sheffield or Manchester, but Alexandra Palace is way cool and you can always pull a sickie the next day... Now don't be gay on me, I want detailed excuses why this isn't the best idea ever!

Friday, November 04, 2005

Born(eo) to be wild

My good friends Rachel and Dan are off to Borneo in January to work for a charity doing conservation and teaching English for four months. Please have a look at the website and give generously folks. You can even have your logo plastered all over their clothes if you a) have one, and b) sponsor them in a corporate stylee.

http://borneoconservationproject.blogspot.com/

my spiritual father

SO here he is. I think you can say there is a definite family resemblance. As my sister fails to read my blog she was unaware of my blog ID (for shame!) but she publishes my father's work at the evil MurdochCorp where she works. I hear he is somewhat of a guru-figure to many, mostly the under 5s, it is true.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Good omen bad omen

Yesterday while walking home from the station I came upon a black cat mewling in the street. I stopped to stroke it, and then it followed me all the rest of the way home (down two more streets) although I was ignoring it to try and make it go away. Knowing Will was staying in Salisbury for the night, I didn't want to let it in in case it pooed everywhere or ate the curtains, knowing I would get the blame.

As I came to my front door (which has a porch and yet no outside light, annoyingly) and was fumbling for my keys in my handbag, I realised that this cat was going to try to come inside. I assumed the Quakers downstairs would not appreciate this so I left the key in the door, walked away a few metres to make the cat follow me, then ran back to let myself in cat-free.

Obviously I was already looking demented to any passers by, but then I compounded this by being unable to shut the door as it had a paper trapped there - yes, you guessed it, the Basingstoke Extra, including such hard-hitting news as this.

Anyway I was forced to try and open and shut the door repeatedly to let the paper in while not letting the cat in. Many traumatic and expletive-ridden seconds later I managed to accomplish said aim and retired upstairs only to be assailed by the wretch's mewling until I went to bed.

Have I cursed myself and all subsequent generations by my cowardice/incompetence in the face of a domestic animal? I suppose I'll find out on Monday...

Friday, October 07, 2005

Pop goes Kate!

I am compiling an electro-based/80s pop gem and would be grateful of any help. So far the track listing is as follows (in no particular order):

Gary Numan: Are Friends Electric? or Music for Chameleons
Daft Punk: Higher, Faster...
Mylo: Doctor Pressure
Kraftwerk: Model
Goldfrapp: Strict Machine
Eurythmics: Sweet Dreams

Can't remember the rest of them, but you get the idea. PS Gary Numan's new music is sounding ever more like Marilyn Manson(!)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Scrooged

HELP! I have been strong-armed into organising my work Christmas Party and am stuck for ideas. I don't really go to bars or clubs, and now don't even live in London any more. If only I could just get everyone to come down to the Bounty... Apparently I was nominated because I organised my wedding this year - as you may know it was in my in-laws' back garden and I'm not sure they'd be so thrilled with 60 or so of my colleagues turning up on their doorstep.

Plus it could turn into this:
















Or this:

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Heroes


After the most fantastic series I've ever seen, to actually win the Ashes was nothing short of brilliant. One of the most amusing things was how none of the team seemed to realise until yesterday that they had had such an enormous following over the last few weeks. I, for one, have been avidly following the Guardian's OBO reports as well as listening to TMS on the radio (at no little cost to my work productivity!) while watching the matches at the weekends. Sadly I didn't manage to get to the parade yesterday as was far too hungover from celebrating on Monday night - at least I didn't look like Freddie though! But if you can't drink all night when you've just won the Ashes, when can you? (no, don't answer that one...)

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Treachery!!!


Knew it all along...

Friday, September 09, 2005

Is it so wrong...



really. I know we want to win the Ashes and all. But what about the consolation prize? Warney as your bitch, you know it makes sense.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I don't like cricket...


I love it, obviously. Anyone brave enough to email something inane to the Guardian OBO team? I will have it on all day Thursday and Friday I assure you. A word from the mighty Ronnie O'Sullivan - Former World Snooker Champion:

"I'm looking forward to Thursday and I've got a great feeling that England are going to win. Do the business, bring the Ashes home. Wicked."

Couldn't have said it any better!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Fine dining


Anyone know of a nice restaurant I can go to in or around Waterloo tomorrow? My mind is blank. Nothing new there then! Nothing too posh if you please.

And this pic is to prove Basingstoke isn't boring - they have morris dancing and strange beasties!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Disturbed? I nearly died

For my sins I was punished with a hideous nightmare last night, of an awfulness too dire to revisit to post on this blog until now. I have finished my lunch, hope you have too.

I was walking along the side of a cricket ground, minding my own business, while some of the players were practising. I noticed Shane Warne ahead of me, entirely nude and showing off some particularly colourful tattoos around his arms and back.

At this point I made a fateful error. Rather than running as fast as I could in the opposite direction screaming for the police, I instead sped up so that I would be able to overtake him and pretend not to have noticed his "condition".

An awful realisation dawned on me as I drew closer - he was turning round to face me. By this time there was nothing I could do, I was helpless, not even able to speak.

He fixed his beady eyes on my face and began making strange noises, like I imagine an emu makes when it swoops in for the kill (yes, there are killer emus, at least in my world) and raising his arms threateningly.

Frozen in terror I lost all awareness of my surroundings, as he came closer and closer, until, with a triumphant shriek, he suddenly turned round to present his arse, bent down a little and farted into his own hands which he then shoved into my face as ...a gift?

Proud of himself, he aped off, and I woke up, mad-eyed and feverish.

And no, that's not how I wake up every morning. Can anyone recommend a therapist? Or at least can we win the bloody Ashes?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

sorry

It has come to my attention that I have been somewhat remiss of late, what with updating y'all on my news. I promise I have been busy with my other blog (see side panel) and not forsaking dear Pootle for the insidious joys of work. Pah!

Well then. News:

I am moving from London to Basingstoke. Yes, really. This weekend. Before I drown under waves of mass derision, please check this out:

http://www.basingstoke.me.uk/

All you never wanted to know about the town which is to become my home. It's only 40 minutes from Waterloo you fascists!

The flat is nice, above a Quaker meeting house(!) to which I expect all revellers staying of a Saturday night to attend for silent prayers on Sunday morning. There are two bedrooms so nobody will be forced to kip on my floor, as has previously been the case (you know who you are). We will be having a house-warming party at some point, please let me know if you can think of a suitable theme, also to tie in with my forthcoming birthday. That was a hint to start saving up by the way.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I got married! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

face-off Posted by Hello

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Maybe this will work. Is the plural of loris lori? Posted by Hello

Monday, June 13, 2005

I am alive!!

After many many months of talking about it I have finally created my blog! Cue thousands swooning in delight as I begin the task of translating my transcendental visions of wisdom into pithy posts for the enjoyment of my fans. You are most welcome.