Will's 30th Birthday

For those of you not on Facebook, a note on behalf of my lord and master:

Birthday

It will be celebrated on the first full moon after the summer solstice (June 30, fact fans) in the field opposite Will's house in Salisbury. We are hoping to have some kind of fire going, presumably lit without the aid of matches, round which to sing songs and generally behave like pagans. No change there, then. We will be camping in the field, with or without the van, and foraging for food of course. Release your inner hippy!

Bad, badder, baddest

Top 5 worst films of all time:

1. Dude where's my car? - The only time I almost (but not quite) walked out of a cinema, despite being pissed
2. Days of Thunder - A Lockwood recommendation which failed to score on the promised whoop-o-meter
3. Punch Drunk Love - Adam Sandler, nuff said
4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original of course) - Not so much bad as unwatchable
5. Flashdance - You may not believe this, but I had such high hopes...

And I usually love bad films. Or so I get told. Looking forward to a sequel-tastic summer with which to update this list though! My money's on Die Hard 4.0

WTF?

File under "Freddie Starr"

When will this madness end?

Monday boredom

This afternoon I am mostly laughing at Charlie Brooker while batting away the sinking realisation of the fact that I have way too much work than it is possible to do in this short week.

I know, let's go on the internet then! That will help I'm sure.

Had a cool weekend with Rachel and Dan, which makes work seem even worse - I still haven't thought of a way to get paid for doing something I would choose to do anyway. If only there was a way of making money out of inane commentary... Wait a minute! I think some people actually get to do this! Bastards.

last.fm 1.0

Because I now drive to work in a 106 with a suitably crap stereo, I have been forced to rediscover the beauty of tapes. As I stopped making them/being made them as late as 2004, some of the songs are what might be loosely termed as modern popular music, but the cream comes from way earlier.

Currently top of my pops include:

• pretty much the whole of Now 10 Tape 1
• Velvet Pants: Propellorheads
• Pussy Control: Prince
• Thunderstruck: AC/DC

Stone the crows

If anyone wishes to perform an entire body purge, I direct you to this offering in the name of Joss:

gagfest

If you get to the end and manage to hold down your lunch I will be impressed!

Chariddee

Please sponsor Ryley Junior, the poor lamb is running again (I must stop letting the dog after her!):

running scared

Bling Janus

Or, the two faces of bling, as modelled at Ruth's party recently: can you tell which of the two girls grew up in Bognor?

Gebirtsdag

I know it's not for a while yet, but Will's 30th is approaching steadily(May 2nd) and we thought we might celebrate his imminent dementia/bus pass years with some sort of party. The idea is to drag people kicking and screaming down to the countryside for a paganistic bacchanal near Solstice time (that's mid-June) involving tents, camp fires and possibly even some booze. Will be in touch with more information shortly via email to include all those who lack the taste to peruse this mighty organ of K-news. And, yes, I know this is a little unspecific, just keep June free OK!

Employment

Yes, fact fans, I now have a job at last. Still in publishing despite not being in London (hurrah!) but involving a 1hr 40mins drive each way (boo!) through snow this morning (hurrah again!)

Not sure how much personal email I can get away with so will be using old email address still for the time being.

Work seems fine so far (through caffeine-enhanced buzz) though I have an author meeting tomorrow which could go either way, as I'll have to blag some kind of knowledge of his subject (Electrical Regulations - urghh) and of course the company I now work for. Might be unemployed again by next week! I can only hope.

Gay?

For some reason I have totally gone off the Mears new series. Oops Will just read that.

Morrissey in Euro-cheese shame

Please, please make this so. In fact a duet would be nice, perhaps Jennifer Ellison is free? Something to brighten the dark, dank days of January. Though reading my new Smash Hits decannual(?) of the 80s (thanks D&R) apparently Morrissey and Pete Burns were best buds back then, so a collaboration of a different sort might be on the cards. The mind boggles...

Merry Christmas all

I realise it's slightly late but I hope everyone had a great Christmas and is looking forwards to the New Year. A couple of photos to amuse - I received some bootees (yes, really) from my parents, as did my sister. An odd choice perhaps, but they are indeed warm, and of course at the cutting edge of fashion.

But the most amazing thing ever was the joy that is SingStar - if there wasn't already reason enough to leave London for the beauty of the countryside and of course the company of les Griffs then there is now! T&E this means you. I still haven't forgotten being humbled to the strains of Belinda Carlisle - it's payback time. And of course I won't spend my jobless days practising like a maniac...

In sadder news W and I have decided to forgo drinking for January once again, so as well as being foul weatherwise we shall no doubt complain about the lack of booze to compensate for being cooped up indoors. Again, SingStar will have to come to the rescue, though sober karaoke is not something I have hitherto been familiar with.

And no more of this then.

Kept in the dark

Apparently Will has been moonlighting and actually using his Classics degree:

Will in using degree shocker

Sadly the "Latin lovers" of the title didn't quite turn out to be Gael Garcia Bernal etc. as I had hoped. But more to the point, I knew married couples were supposed to keep secrets from each other but still! I suppose I shall now have to tell him I was born a man.

New writing career beckons

Finally got an email published on the Guardian OBO site!! Day two, afternoon session for those who can be bothered to seek it out, closely following Rachel's comment. Ah the glory... although they did seem to think I would be embarrassed for some reason, obviously unaware of my utter lack of shame. Still slightly recovering from very late nights required to "watch" the Ashes (internet-only, no Sky), and of course the alcholic facilitator of said nights' wakefulness.

Had an altogether pleasant stay in London, managing to see lots of people over the weekend, but was forced to cope with the vagaries of non-tube public transport, misanthropy-inducing crowds, those charming yellow murder signs ("were you here on ...?") and grime. Although I can complain about being stuck out here when bored on my own, I can finally admit I am glad we moved out of London - well that's only taken me two years! Now for the next stage in my master plan, to encourage others to move out too.

Pies

Maybe it's just because I'm bored, sitting at home all day by myself (sniff sniff!) but I loved this.

"pies are supposed to be meat and potato and anything else just isn't normal"

Oh, how I agree. PS has anyone got Sky? No real reason...

The End.

We're back at home now, after managing to leave Nimes the following day, stopping at Limoges (joyous Campanile) and then my parents' place near Saumur. Managed to book a crossing for Sunday from Le Havre to Portsmouth and arrived back in Salisbury at about 11.30pm. V tired but glad the van made it - worked out we have travelled almost 15,oookm in total, through 12 countries. And only one breakdown!!

I've managed to catch a cold immediately on returning, though it's actually warmer here than it was in France, so now it's just a question of filling in the time until the Ashes start. I suppose some sort of employment will be in order, worse luck. Anyway this blog will now revert to the irregular updating of shafts of wisdom (or pictures of funny animals) and so your European correspondent signs off.

Italy photos - Verona

Italy photos - Venice

Suggest anyone who wants to visit goes there quick, as it is already sinking fast

Photos again - Croatia

Split, also countryside around