Kate and I went to Longleat a while ago - and the monkeys wrought destruction upon my car; tearing off the rear wash nozzle, so that now the liquid pours down on to the passenger shelf!

Photos!

The Bank Holiday will be a tester. I am not on Court duty or police station duty for the whole weekend (although I do have to go to police station on Monday). As a consequence of this unusual stretch of freetime, I am trying to think of ways of getting drunk. I believe I will be able to persuade someone to buy me beer in exchange for potatoes/ runner beans. Also I know that after Dad's 60th birthday bash, there are two polypins of Summer Lighting and Crop Circle leftover that no one else wants to drink (they are certainly past their best, but I am fairly desperate). By the way - don't think cupboard is bare. There's a lot of potatoes in there, and I haven't had to consider the "Celebrity Meatloaf" or tinned "Meat" balls yet. There's honey, flour, yeast, powdered custard, powdered Miso soup, instant gravy, cornflour, sugar, rapeseed oil - and other stuff - a world of possibilities.

My Mushroom growing kit is finally showing signs of life (See photo)!

Also made a soup the other day out of all the veg that had gone funny (lettuce, peas, carrots etc.) I bunged them all in the pressure cooker and it made a very nice soup. The pressure cooker is amazing - it performs some kind of magic on food - you can pretty much shove anything in there - and it seems to turn out quite well (the exception being the time I tried to make soup using mainly gone-off red wine from one of those boxes).

When will he crack?

We have almost run out of tea and coffee. Marmite finished yesterday. And there is a bank holiday, which could prove the ultimate test (unless someone takes pity and swaps potatoes for beer).

I have failed

Oh no, I hear you cry, how awful. Back to normal food... Will is ploughing on however, and the cupboard is looking bare.

Bumper spud harvest has enabled me to undertake bartering. Have swapped spuds variously for: eggs, artichoke, meat, cheese, tomatoes. Forgot to take fruit to work today - and so will have to miss lunch. More home-made bread and yoghurt made at weekend. My parents-in-law very kindly brought a chicken around on Sunday, which we roasted and ate together. Absolutely delicious! Accompanied with home-grown spuds, A&C carrots and home-grown runner beans. The carcass is in the pressure cooker becoming stock, which I think that I will use to make a pea and bean soup. All redcurrents from A&C went mouldy before I got to them - should've checked them earlier. Having to drink lots of tea at work to stave off hunger.
Parents gave me some sausages for doing some heavy lifting at the weekend - and so that's tonight's supper sorted.
P.S. I think that Kate may have had enough of this quest - so it may be a solo mission from now on.

It almost feels like there is too much food in the garden! The box of potatoes shown is from one corner of veg patch. Also pictured is the bread I made on Saturday (nice, but goes stale very quickly - also had to make it round - as only have cake and not loaf baking tin). Looks like spuds for every meal.

Given the quantity of veg available in Garden (just two potato plants yielded a cardboard box full of spuds on Friday and courgettes coming through fast - see photo), I think that I will move from yoghurt as staple to potatoes - that should firm things up.

Also, went out for meal on Friday night and bought my parents' supper as "thankyou" for taking us on holiday - so that means an extra day on the end. Quest will now complete on 05/09/08.

Have fininshed all bread in house - so I am making my own from flour and yeast that was in cupboard - should be ready by about 16.00.

The Good Life

I dug up some potatoes for my lunch. Felicity Kendal, you have my permission to BITE ME!

Though my stomach is complaining - I too am blaming the yoghurt. But at least I am not suffering as badly as Will.

Interesting: quest of non-purchase of food and drink on track (getting bored of fruit lunches). And possible digestive troubles from excess of home-made yogurt (sp?). Went to Boots height and weight machine again; lost weight (14st 10lb as opposed to 15st last week), however same machine informs me that I have lost height! (5'11'' as opposed to 6' - which is how tall it told me I was last week!) I am not certain that I can trust that machine.

Quest on track. Homemade yoghurt proving very useful. Carrying teabags around during the day, and scabbing hot water for caffeine fix.

Re-start:
I must now re-start the quest, as we had guests down at the weekend and Kate persuaded me that it was unacceptable to continue in quest whilst we had visitors. Quest will now run from the 4th Aug to 4th Sept. However, before they arrived on Saturday I did eat some tinned meat from the back of my cupboard calling itself "Bacon Roll". It was very hard to extract from the tin and it had a worrying texture and colour. I fried it, and it tasted like a very dry Sausage McMuffin, with a leathery texture. It is, however, passable (meaning that I have passed it - rather than it being subject to a "rejection").

I am me!

Failure - last night I failed! As with so many of life's mistakes, this one was made under the influence of alcohol.
Doing really well - was very hungry on return from work, but filled up on toast (the last loaf that I will not have to make myself) and stale breadsticks from the cupboard. Also very passable cup of tea made from "second-use" tea bag.
Later on I started to make my evening meal - a vegetable curry made entirely from veg from the veg box. However, I had just taken a very annoying work call, which threatened to see me working at the weekend and not getting paid for it. That annoyed me. In a fit of pique I hunted out the last non-spirit alcohol in the house; a bottle of Chianti that had been a gift. Opened - very pleasant. Drank almost all of it whilst cooking to compensate for annoying work situation. Ate curry. Then persuaded Kate to come to the pub with me - where I purchased two pints of lager. That constitutes a failure in my quest - a day must be added to the end! Co-incidentally I compounded my errors by purchasing over-priced fags from fag machine and smoking them - and then getting stuck into the Calvados on return home. (It was Friday night). I now have a hangover.

In response to Dan's question:
I understand that the "Curing" or "Leatherising" process is designed to encourage the formation of sugars, in order to stop the food tasting so astrigent. I think that it is a sort of forced ripening. WillP.S. I am quite hungry already

Someone has nicked your idea of the self-purge

A new contender

Compete! I dare you! Mwa ha ha ha (Kate)

Breakfast: Coffee (less strong than usual - as will have to carefully ration it) also black - to preserve milk for ongoing "rolling culture" of yoghurt.

Leftover smoothie

Homemade rhubarb yoghurt - rhubarb from garden - initially tried this last night, was eyewateringly sour - now have added a good deal of sugar, and is now palatable.

Am taking banana and orange to Court (where I will be all day as Court duty solicitor) - no time to prepare anything else.

Photos: check on my potato patch! I may be getting most of carbs from here. Also apple tree (green mass beyond roof) - fruit not ready, but fallers can be made palatable by thinly slicing and allowing to "cure" for a few days, or by pounding, mashing and allowing to dry into a "fruit leather" (according to Ray Mears' Wild Food book).